I knew he preferred me to Stripe
by Batbacon
Summary: Crenny/ Just a lil oneshot. Kenny may have finally found his way out of the friendzone. He also has a sort of disliking to Stripe, that fluffy son-of-a-bitch. -We've all been friendzoned at some point!


**-These two are my favourite characters and I seriously love reading Crenny, but I'm still in the middle of writing another story at the moment, but I just wanted to write something so blahisgseoig**

**(um, this is not graphic or anything, just cussing. not even a lil kiss, i know. dont look at me like that. im sad at myself for not putting anything in mk. sorreh to disappoint!)**

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_'Don't you dare touch him. You lay a finger on him and I'll kick your ass.'_

_'Ah, come on Craig, don't be soft! I just wanna touch him.'_

_'Don't make me get up.'_

A smirk grew from the side of my lips as I leaned my head over of the cage and eyed the hamster's home. I heard some very quiet shuffling coming from inside one of the metal bared box.

_'What happened to your pig?'_

A sigh came from the other side of the room. I knew I was annoying him by coming to his house, but by hell it was fun pissing him off.

_'Stripe. His name was Stripe and he was a guinea pig.'_

I scoffed and stuck my finger in the cage, rubbing the saw dust along the bottom to try and get the little rat out, just so I could make Craig get even angrier.

_'So.. You called your hamster the same as your dead guinea pig?'_

I heard another sigh come from the raven.

_'Hey. Hey Craig.'_

He purposely ignored me, as expected. I heard him continuously turn the pages of a Marvel magazine I bought over with me. I was into the superhero stuff and he liked comic books, so we'd share and discuss them with each other, although I personally preferred DC, because I was more into Batman's work. I hated Batman fans though. Most of them have never even read any of the comics, seen any of the good ol' programmes and don't even know the freakin logo evolution. But whatever makes them choose The Dark Knight over Superman, is cool with me, I suppose.

_'Craig. Hey, hey Tucker. What dy'a do, if I burnt ol' Stripey's tale off?'_

_'Russian hamsters don't have tails, dumbass.'_

_ 'Oh yeah?'_

I slipped out the metal lighter I had in my jeans pocket and flicked the flame. I continued to stare into the cage. I could feel Craig's eye's snap up and stare at the flame, eyes open, widely. I grinned at that.

_'Ya know, there's an awful lotta' wood in there dude. It would be a shame if..'_

I dropped my hand down slightly and held it towards the cage.

As I did so, he instantly jumped off his bed and strode towards the lighter with a worried look on his face. This was the only expression he ever showed, unless you count neutral as an expression.

_'He's a fucking hamster man, he hasn't done anything to you! Don't fucking burn him.'_

I chuckled and blew out the flame, flipping it back into my pocket.

_'Jesus, Craig. Never seen you get obsessive over anything. Hang on.. Do you secretly fangirl too?'_

He shoved me away from the cage and made a double assurance that there was no fire damage to Stripe or the cage.

_'What?'_

_'Do you like sit on Tumblr all day and get all excited about cute lil hamsters and fluffy little animals?!' _

_'Wha~ No.'_

_'Ah come on. Bet you do. Bet you do it with dogs and cats too. Hey Craig, do you watch animal porn?!'_

He sighed once again in frustration and gave me the finger.  
_'Look can you just like, fuck off?'_

_'Stop your bitching. Just because you have a thing for animals. Shit man, you're not gonna be one of those people who marry horses and have sexual relationships with them are you? I saw this one thing, where this guy actually got married to his pony and like. They did it. I tried to figure out how and was like, he wouldn't have been able to get it up there right? But then I found out that it was a male horse. Yeeaah. Are you gonna be like one of those people, Craig? Fall in love with ya' horse, hm?_

He rose his voice, closing the tiny metal door.  
'No!'

_'Because, if you do, I wont be coming over anymore, you do know that right?'_

_'Thank fucking, God.' _

I gave him the evil eye and moved myself onto his bed.

_'..Why do you care so much about that thing?'_

He glanced back and huffed at my question and probably more over so my presence.

_'You won't understand.'_

I sat back on my forearms and scratched my head.

_'No, no. Come on, I'm more open than you think, Tucker!'_

He turned back round and leant on his side desk, which was placed in front of the bed.

_'He's just..'_

He held his hand out in mid air and tried to think about how to explain it to me. I was surprised that he even told me stuff. Mind you, I never told anyone about mine and Craig's little.. friendship. We would never really talk or hang out at school; we had our own lives, but somehow we just managed to make time for each other out of classes. Dam, he could be a right pain in the ass at times but sometimes I would rather hang out with this asshole than Stan, Kyle or Cartman.

Oh yeah, about that. You could say that Craig had friendzoned me, the bastard. I had tried to get it off with him and sometimes I succeeded, but he kept mentioning something about me just wanting to use him because he was like the only guy who I hadn't tried fuck yet. I was trying to be a good guy for once. I had cut down on my smoking because of him. I think that pissed him off a bit though, because whenever he demanded for a cigarette, I wouldn't have any on me. Thinking about that, I guess I should boost up my smoking limits again.

I didn't want to have any intention on giving up on him. And to make sure I was serious about it, I made him sure that I had not had a single girlfriend or boyfriend and I hadn't even slept with anyone in six months. I knew he wanted to stay on the safe side, but give him a couple months more and he'll melt into my beautiful hands. I think he was waiting on purpose though, just to see me suffer. I could never understand how he satisfied his hormonal needs by staying single all the time. I bet he jacked off to his pornographic photos of Stripe everyday. He must have. Eheh.

_'He makes me happy. Like if I think about having to satisfy him, then it will take my mind off doing stupid shit. And you know what stupid shit I'm talking about. Whenever Stripe has passed away, I get really depressed and shitty and I result to..'_

He looked down at his arms, and then pulled one of them to the back of his head. I could tell he felt uncomfortable, but I was the only one he spoke to about his inner self and how he felt about things. As gay as that sounds, it worked.

_'I mean, it's not like I've had any tragedy in my life. My parents are still together, no-one I known has died and my life is like any other. I can't explain it. I just don't like being too alone. You know how my family is; they don't give a fuck about anything. The last time I spoke to them was at Christmas. They haven't even asked about my fucking grades.'_

I nodded so I assured him that I actually knew what he was talking about.  
_'Hm. So I guess that answers my second question.'_

He pulled his arm back down and looked at me with a blank look.  
'_What.'_

_'That you really do watch hamster porn.'_

He actually grinned at that, so I snickered to prevent the awkwardness. I didn't really need to say anything after that. He knew that I actually cared about how he was and how his mind worked. He hadn't had the best upbringing, it wasn't the worst one, but it could have been better. He hardly knew his parents and his parents hardly knew him. I think they began to pay less attention to him when Ruby arrived. Then again, I didn't think that they even payed much attention to her anymore either.

_'Dude, if I was so much into that shit, don't you think I would be married to the bloody thing?'_

I smirked, shrugging my shoulders in response.

He turned back round to the cage and hesitated for a moment.

_'Do you. Do you wanna hold him?'_

I raised both of my eyebrows in surprise. He never let anyone even touch his precious Stripe. Simply no-one.

I jumped at the chance and shuffled my position on the bed, so that I was sitting crossed legged. He could tell I was eager and I think that's what made him nervous.

_'A-alright, but you have to be really fucking careful. He's not a dog or a cat. You have to be gentle. If you hurt him, I'll break your face.'_

I placed my hand onto my heart as if I was offended. I told him that I would 'never do such a thing' as he took the fluffy thing out from its den. How the fuck he could get that thing out in a couple of seconds and I couldn't was a mystery to me. I was the one with the charm.

I held my hands out and he carefully placed the little worm into the palm of my hands. I could see the raven biting his lip and I knew if I fucked this up in anyway that he would, in fact, break my face. He mirrored how I sat and stared at his fluffy best friend, taking in at how gentle I was with it.

'_Dude, why is it shaking. What have I done, I haven't like given him a heart attack or somethin', have I?'_

He shook his head in response, keeping a very close eye on every movement of mine.  
_'He does that when he's around people. That's why I don't like people going near the cage. Especially Clyde. He doesn't stop tapping on the fucking bars, it scares him.'_

I chuckled and fidgeted with my hands in the direction the furry little thing was going. After about ten minutes, I thought I'd better give him back to his owner. Craig took Stripe from my hands and handled it, like it was some sort of fucking baby. It was kinda cute actually.

My mind trailed off to how much Stripe actually looked like Craig. Like really. If Craig had greyish, brownish coloured hair, he would look identical to his hamster. But his hair wasn't grey or brown. It was black. Plain, jet black. It was shorter than mine but it looked dam hot. It was sorta messy and stuck out in different directions, I'm guessing from his hat. Hat hair is always the best hair. Hair is always good after sex, as I say.

I started taking in all of his features, like how white his skin was. It wasn't like a fucking white sheet, but it was quiet a light colour. That was probably due to his family being brought up in these kinds of areas. Cold 'n' boring. That literally ran through his blood, but I liked it. Boring people are fun.

He noticed I was staring at him after some time, because I no longer had interest in his squeaky, little pride.

_'What.'_

I snapped out of my gaze and stared at him blankly.  
_'What?'_

_'Why've you gotta' stare at me like that.'_  
He asked in his monotonous voice. Ah that voice. It never changed, only got deeper.

_'I got caught off guard.'_

_'Stop it.'_  
He looked back down to his Stripe and continued to pet it like the man he was.

_'What?! It's hard to concentrate on something when your charming looks just make my thoughts go out of control!'_  
I pressed the back of my hand to my forehead and made some sort of gesture, whilst chuckling to myself.

_'Kenny, Stop. You know I hate you talking like that.'_

Bringing my hand back down, I kept the smile on my face.

_'Yeah. But it's true, Craig.'_

_'Tch.. Would like to think that.'_

The smile on my face faded and a sigh escaped from my lips. I really hated it when he was like this. He always had a depressing attitude. Well it wasn't really depressing, it was just annoying - inappropriate when I tried to compliment him. - It sounded like I was sarcastic most of the time when I made a nice comment towards him, but I was actually serous about it and he knew it.

_'Dude, you know, more than anyone the way I feel about you. But you're just so freakin stubborn to accept it. You know, it's gonna kill me the day you say you're not interested at all.'_

_'That won't happen. Plus even if it did, you'd get over it pretty soon.'_

I scoffed at that. I think it was because I didn't know if I was forcing myself to believe that I wouldn't get over it, or if it would be true.  
I fell back onto the bed, with my legs still in the same position as they were.

_'You know Craig. I've never really been turned down before. So it was a bit of a shock when you did the first time. It was a bit of a relief actually. 'Nd so ever since then, I just cant help but get tied up to you.'_

He glanced at me and smiled sheepishly.

_'I know. You like reaptin' yourself don'chya?'_

I shrugged.  
_'Well, you know. I'm trying to give you the hint of telling me how it is.'_

He continued to look at me with thoughtful look. I was kinda dumping all of this on him, I knew that, but God dammit. I felt like I had waited for ages for a confirmable answer. It's kinda hard to think about the person you're crazy about probably doesn't like you. I'd never had that feeling until this jackass came along and decided to ruin Kenny McCormick's beautiful love live.

_'Are you pressuring me, McCormick?'_

_'Shutup. You're just..'_  
I re-thought about my sentence. I wanted him to know that I was really serious about this subject.

_'I just wanna know when I should give up.'_

There was a pause between the two of us, as I looked up at the ceiling. I couldn't tell you if he was looking at me or his little fluffball.

_'Don't give up.'_

I raised an eyebrow, questioning myself. I propped back up onto my elbows and we exchanged looks. For a moment, I though I had misheard him, but apparently not.

_'You're the only person who hasn't. I tell you, it's a nice fucking feeling to be wanted for once.'_

I couldn't help but smirk at him.

_'So.. Does this mean..?'_

_'No. Don't think my opinion has changed; I'm still sticking to my morals. Just.. Well. You'll get what you'll be hoping for. In the end.'_

I pushed myself up so that I was no longer lying down. A wide grin over took my face as my spirits began to lift. That was the answer I had wanted to hear from him all these months. Of all the freaking ways I had been trying to get him to talk about it and it had to be through Stripe. Nope, it wasn't from his favourite food, favourite movie or even his favourite band I saved up and took him to, did the trick. It was his fucking hamster. Shoulda' known really. It was the only thing that kept him calm and in a good mood.

_'Stop looking at me like that!'_

He shoved my shoulder, so to piss him off; I burst into a laughing fit. He kept shouting at me to shut the fuck up but the blush on his face made it even funnier.

He bombarded me with pokes and I swear some of them left bruises, but I knew he was loving it. I was the only one that could really make him smile like that. I think I would even say that I beat Stripe in that one.

_'Okay, okay, I'll stop! Just quit the poking!'_  
I tried to calm my laughing down and get my breath back. My grin still hadn't moved, but it was kinda hard not to. I just loved it when he was this happy, even if he wasn't smiling like as much of a complete retard like I was.

_'Fuck. My finger's bleeding.'_

My gazed turned towards his hand. Man his hands were bony. I took a look at the fresh wound on his finger and focused on the look of it. It defiantly wasn't from poking me. He had a hard poke, yes, but there was no way his finger was that hardcore. Ooo, nice.

_'Hang on..'_  
He looked around the bed then back up at me. I did the same thing and I gathered we were both sensing the same thing, because we both gave each other the same look of 'something's wrong'.

_'Wait. Did Stripe just bite you?'_

He gave me a look of horror which was so fucking hilarious. I couldn't tell if the look was for himself, because he made his hamster taking a fucking huge chunk out of him, or if it was for me, as I pretty much distracted him and probably made him sit on the fluffy bastard. Either way, I'd give anything to see that look again.

_'Shit! Where did he go?!'_

My amusement took a hold of me again and I filled up with laughter. He shoved me again before jumping off the bed and scurry around the room.

_'You fucking lost him, you asshole! How could you?!'_

I stumbled off the bed, holding my stomach as I continued to crack up.

_'I.. I lost him?! You where holding him!'_

_'I've never lost him before, Kenny!'_

_'Well! There's a first time for everything, Craig.'_

I watched him as he threw his arms behind his head and turn into panic mode.

I think I may have ruined the relationship between the pair of them.

Score one to Kenny.

..  
Yeah, fuck you Stripe.

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this wasn't like amazing or anything but leave a review if ya want c:


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